


Only Us

by drivingmishcrazy



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24980131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drivingmishcrazy/pseuds/drivingmishcrazy
Summary: Set after False Flag. Emily’s plans to cheer Tara up after they get back from Roswell take a surprising turn after a few too many glasses of wine and it changes everything.
Relationships: Tara Lewis/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Only Us

It had started when they were in Roswell, New Mexico.

Truthfully, Emily Prentiss  _ knew  _ that it had started long before that. Roswell was just the tipping point, the point when she knew that whatever was between her and Tara Lewis could no longer be ignored. But if anyone asked, Roswell was when it started and she would stick to that story if it killed her.

The catalyst had been Tara’s revelation that Melissa had told her that the Sandy Hook shooting had been staged, followed by the explanation that Tara had been there and witnessed the horror and grief of the aftermath of the shooting. The pain was written on Tara’s face and though she was outwardly calm, her voice betrayed some of the rage she felt. It was enough to make Emily feel as though her heart would crack, even as she forced herself to remain objective and keep everyone focused on searching for evidence. Yet that didn’t stop her from pulling Tara aside and into the sheriff’s office as the team began looking to back up Tara’s theory with facts. Later, Emily would question whether it had been altogether appropriate to do so, but at the time concern had trumped propriety as she gently pushed the door shut behind her.

“If this is about something I said or did,” Tara said, already on defense. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Oh no, trust me.” Emily said. “It’s understandable. I mean, to have seen it with your own eyes and then have someone tell you it wasn’t real…”

“Yeah.” Tara said quietly. 

“Are  _ you  _ alright, though?” Emily asked, touching her on the arm. “Really, I don’t want you saying you’re fine because you think it’s what I wanna hear.”

“The truth?” Tara asked. “I don’t know. I honestly can’t remember the last time something has made my blood boil like that. She got to me and I hate that she was able to. That she had the power to get to me.”

Emily’s brows knit together. “You know you can talk to me, right?” She said. “I’m not just here to bark orders and make sure you do your paperwork. I actually  _ do  _ care about you guys.”

Tara chuckled. “Yeah Em, I know.” She said. “And after this is all over, I might take you up on that. I just  _ need  _ us to solve this first, okay?

“Right.” Emily said. “Understood. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was in your corner.”

“Believe me.” Tara said. “I never doubted that.”

The exchange was innocent enough, but there was something in Tara’s tone, her inflection that was different. The way she looked at Emily felt different too, as if she was seeing Emily perhaps for the first time. It made Emily’s stomach do flips. Truth be told, Emily had been taken with the other woman since she had returned to the BAU, she was too embarrassed to admit that Tara’s insistence that Emily discuss making the move permanent with her now ex-boyfriend Mark had helped tip the scales toward staying even before the rest of the team had finished making it clear that they wanted her back though they would never ask her to give up the life she had built for herself in London outright. The fascination had only grown stronger as time went on, especially while Reid was in prison. Tara had proved to be an easy person to talk to, though she joked that she had a PhD in listening. Now it was as if the tables had turned and Tara had begun to see a different side of Emily Prentiss. Emily’s suspicions were all but confirmed when they got back to Quantico after the case was solved and Tara asked if the offer to talk was still open. 

That night, Tara went over to Emily’s apartment and over too many glasses of wine, she let herself fall apart in a way that Emily had never witnessed the other woman do. Emily’s heart ached for Tara as she let out everything she had been holding back in Roswell and Emily found herself pulling Tara into a tight hug, no longer the Unit Chief, but a concerned friend. Tara seemed to sink into Emily’s arms, burying her face in the smaller woman’s shoulder in a show of vulnerability that was as touching as it was shocking. There were no words, Emily just rubbed Tara’s back and let her cry, happy to act as a safe place to fall. They stayed that way for quite some time before Tara pulled away, shaking her head and wiping the tears from her face.

“Sorry.” Tara muttered, averting her eyes. 

“No, don’t be.” Emily said. “Tara, when I said I was here for whatever you needed, I meant that.”

“No, I know.” Tara said. “I’m just not used to letting people see me like...this…”

“I get it.” Emily said. “I’m the same way.”

Tara laughed. “If I didn’t know any better.” She said bitterly. “I’d say we both have intimacy issues.”

“Trust me.” Emily snorted. “I  _ know  _ I have intimacy issues. It’s why I’m chronically single.”

They both laughed a little then fell silent until Tara lifted her eyes to Emily’s again. 

“Thank you.” Tara said. “For this, I really appreciate it.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Tara.” Emily said. “I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t show anyone that you’re human and I want you to know you can be human around me. No judgement.”

“No judgment.” Tara echoed. She smiled. “You know you wouldn’t have made a half bad psychologist in another life yourself, Prentiss.”

Emily chuckled. “I don’t know about that.” She said. “But I  _ am  _ here for you, no matter what.”

Tara nodded. “I know.”

Silence fell again, stretching until it bordered on uncomfortable. Emily cleared her throat.

“Uh, you can crash here if you want.” She said, fingers tapping her jeans. “We drank a bottle and a half of wine between us so I really don’t feel comfortable letting you drive home. You hungry?”

“That depends.” Tara said. “Are you cooking?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “My cooking isn’t  _ that  _ bad!”

Tara gave her a withering look. “Emily, I’ve watched you burn ramen noodles.” She said. “Even  _ Reid  _ makes fun of your cooking, and he lives off mac & cheese.”

“Fine.” Emily huffed. “I was gonna suggest Chinese anyway. But I  _ am  _ capable of cooking my own food!”

“Sure you are.” Tara said. “Actually, Chinese sounds good. You wanna go dutch?”

“I got it.” Emily said. “Just pick up the coffee tab next time or something. Sesame chicken and vegetable fried rice with a cup of egg drop soup, right?”

“Yeah.” Tara frowned. “How did you know that?”

“I have a good memory.” Emily said. “And  _ you,  _ Tara Elizabeth Lewis, are a creature of habit.”

_ “You,  _ Emily Reneè Prentiss, are drunk.” Tara replied.

“So?”

Tara laughed and shook her head. “Never mind.”

The two turned it into a girl’s night, munching on Chinese food and turning on some mindless reality show. They finished the rest of the wine and opened another and soon Tara and Emily were on the floor in a fit of giggles. Emily poured another glass of wine, she had lost count of how many they had had at that point, but she was in too good of a mood to care. Tara dissolved into another fit of giggles as Emily struggled to set the now empty bottle back down on the coffee table far enough away from the edge that it didn’t fall off, not trusting herself to make it to the kitchen counter.

“This was a terrible idea.” Tara said. “I get ridiculous when I’m wine wasted.”

“That’s me.” Emily joked. “The master of terrible ideas. Besides, you’re cute when you’re drunk.”

“Oh, only when I’m drunk.” Tara said. “Gee thanks, Em, I see how it is.”

“Oh hush!” Emily said, giving her a playful shove. “I think you’re cute all the time and you  _ know  _ it! You’re just extra cute when you’re drunk.”

“Oh yeah?” Tara asked, then she tackled Emily, causing her to scream. “Well I think you’re a  _ lot  _ more than cute, so there!”

“What are you talking about?” Emily said through bursts of laughter and struggling against Tara.

“You know what I mean!” Tara said laughing too as she poked Emily in the ribs. “Come on, don’t pretend like you don’t!”

“I really don’t!” Emily said. “I hate to say it, Tara, but I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

“Come on, you’ve gotta have  _ some  _ idea!” Tara said. “It’s clear as day! Even Reid thinks so!”

“Well I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Emily laughed. “So either tell me if you’re gonna tell me or I’m putting your drunk ass to bed!”

“Emmy, it’s obvious.” Tara said, her words slurring slightly. “I  _ like  _ you.”

Emily stopped struggling to stare at Tara, her mouthed dropped open and she chuckled nervously, the butterflies in her stomach doing backflips.

“What?” Emily asked. “I uh- what?”

“You heard me.” Tara said. “I  _ like  _ you, Emily Prentiss.”

“Well, you’re my friend.” Emily said. “I sure  _ hope  _ you like me, Tara Lewis.”

Tara shook her head. “Not that kind of like.”

“Okay…” Emily said, suddenly painfully aware of how close they were. “What kind of like, then?”

“I like you,” Tara said, moving Emily’s bangs out of her eyes. “The way Luke likes Garcia and Garcia likes Luke, as much as they’d sooner die than admit it. I like you the way you like someone when you wanna kiss them and do dirty, sexy things with them.  _ That  _ kind of like, Emily.”

“Well.” Emily chuckled again, looking away. “Now I  _ know  _ you’ve had too much to drink.”

“Don’t do that.” Tara said.

“Do what?”

“That laugh.” Tara explained. “It’s your sad laugh, which means I hurt your feelings, which  _ means _ you don’t believe me and you really,  _ really  _ should.”

“I don’t have a sad laugh.” Emily said.

“Bull.” Tara said, rolling her eyes. “I’m drunk, not stupid. You’re upset because you think I don’t mean it, but if you’d been paying attention all this time, you would know it’s the truth.”

“This is not a conversation we should be having.” Emily said. “Especially not like this.”

“Why?” Tara said. “Because we work together? Because you’re my boss? Trust me, I didn’t forget.”

“You’re drunk.” Emily said. “You don’t know what you’re saying, you probably won’t even remember this!”

“Drunk or not, it’s the truth.” Tara said. “Come on, Em, I  _ know  _ you’ve caught me looking at you and I’ve  _ seen  _ the look in your eyes when I slip up and say something a little more flirtatious than I probably should.”

“Tara…” 

“I’ve seen you looking too.” Tara said quietly. “Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I think you like me too. I think you’ve liked me for almost as long as I’ve liked you.”

Emily opened and closed her mouth multiple times, desperately wanting to respond but at a loss for words. She could feel the blood rushing to her face and her heart seemed impossibly loud as it pounded in her chest. She looked at Tara, so obviously drunk yet unflinching in her sincerity and despite her better judgment, despite every voice in her head telling her not to, she found herself leaning in towards the other woman. Emily’s lips brushed Tara’s tentatively, more of a question than anything else, the suggestion of a kiss. Tara responded by pulling Emily closer and uniting their lips fully, no hesitation, her hands cupping the sides of Emily’s face. 

It surprised Emily how gentle the gesture seemed, how loving. She sucked gently on Tara’s bottom lip and Tara responded by grazing Emily’s lips with her tongue gently, patiently. Emily granted her access, shocked at how easily she loses herself in the other woman as Tara brushed her tongue against Emily’s gently, teasing her. Feeling emboldened, Emily leaned further into the kiss and swirled the tip of her tongue against Tara’s, tasting wine and something sweeter and more subtle, mint maybe. This act seemed to stoke something inside of Tara because her next kiss was more passionate, more aggressive. As their kisses became harder and faster, Emily came to her senses somewhat, realizing where the kissing would lead if she didn’t put a stop to it. Emily pulled away gasping, even as Tara tried to pull her back in, hungry for more.

“Tara…” Emily murmured. “Tara, slow down. We need to stop, we can’t do this.”

“Why not?” Tara asked, kissing her again. “Don’t you want this too?”

“Of course I want this.” Emily said. “I want this more than you know.”

Emily sighed, pressed her forehead against Tara’s, and closed her eyes.

“But not like this.” She finished. “Not when I know you won’t remember it in the morning.”

Emily stood up, putting her glass on the coffee table as best she could manage then pulled Tara to her feet, doing her best to steady her. Tara leaned into Emily, clearly drunk beyond rational thought and Emily puts her arms around the taller woman carefully. She briefly considered kissing Tara on the forehead, then thought the better of it. The last thing either of them needed was to confused the issue further.

“We can talk about this tomorrow.” Emily said. “Right now, we  _ both  _ need sleep.”

“Sleep sounds good.” Tara said. “God, this hangover is gonna  _ suck  _ in the morning!”

Emily chuckled. “You’re telling me!”

She helped Tara to the guest room, helping her safely to the bed and placing a trash can beside it, just in case. Tara was out in seconds. Emily, however, found falling asleep far more difficult than she had expected. Her mind raced as she played the nights events back in her head, over and over again. It had been everything that Emily hadn’t allowed herself to want, and now she wanted it more than ever, now that she knew it was a possibility. Now that she knew there was a chance that Tara felt it too.

The morning brought pounding headaches and bright sunlight that seemed to threaten to burn holes in Emily’s retinas as she poured cups of coffee for her and for Tara, who stumbled into the kitchen looking a little like how Emily imagined a sailor who had just spent months out at sea would. She handed Tara the mug of coffee without a word, and offered a plate with toast on it as well.

“Thanks.” Tara muttered, taking a sip. “God, how much did we have to  _ drink  _ last night?”

“A lot.” Emily replied. “Actually, I uh, I wanted to ask you if you remembered anything about last night.”

Tara paused. “Bits and pieces.” She said. “Not much after you opened the red, why?”

“Uh.” Emily said, suddenly losing what little nerve she had possessed. “You know what? It doesn’t matter, Tara. It’s fine. We were drunk, i-it doesn’t matter.”

“No, wait.” Tara said. “What happened?”

“Tara, it’s fine.” Emily said. “Better, actually. Forget I said anything, I don’t want to complicate things between us…”

“Emily!” Tara said firmly. “What happened?”

“You, uh, you said some things.” Emily stammered, not looking Tara in the eye. “About- about how you  _ feel  _ about me, and then we, uh…”

Emily cut herself off and her eyes traveled unbidden to Tara’s mouth. Tara’s expression changed from confusion to horror and her face went pale as she realized where Emily was looking and all that the look implied about what had happened between them the night before. Emily watched as Tara set her mug of coffee down on the counter with shaky hands, her chest rising and falling as she took quick, shallow breaths. Emily frowned when Tara straightened up and turned back the way she came without a word.

“Tara?” Emily called before following her. “You okay?”

“Mmm.” Tara said, holding up a hand. “I need a moment.”

“O-kay?” Emily said, still confused until she saw Tara make a beeline for the bathroom and not long after heard retching noises. She tapped on the doorframe and looked in to see Tara rising to her feet, wiping the corner of her mouth with her shirtsleeve.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any mouthwash, would you?” Tara asked. “I could use some. Obviously.”

“Medicine cabinet, top shelf.” Emily said. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “You know, if kissing me last night was just a drunken mistake, you could have just said so. I’m a big girl, I can take it.”

“That’s not funny.” Tara said, turning to her.

“I- I was just trying to lighten the mood, Tara.” Emily said. “I’m sorry, I just thought if I could make you laugh then we could...that it wouldn’t seem so…”

“Humiliating?” Tara said. “Right, it’s not like I came on to my boss then proceeded to stick my tongue down her throat or anything, now  _ that  _ would be humiliating.”

Emily sighed. “You’re not the only one to blame, Tara.” She said. “I kissed you back. I liked it.”

“That doesn’t make it right.” Tara said. “I think I should leave. Thank you for the coffee.”

Tara shouldered past without another word, not daring to look Emily in the eye. Emily felt a pang in her chest as she watched Tara head towards the front door. She wanted to stop her, to call out her name, but instead she just stood there and watched her leave, feeling more hurt and confused inside then she had the night before when Tara had admitted her feelings to Emily.

For weeks they danced around each other, remaining professional at work but avoiding any deeper interaction. Emily felt sick to her stomach and regretted having ever said anything, regretted ever inviting Tara to stay. Now not only was she unable to ignore her feelings for Tara and the sting of knowing that those feelings were unrequited, she had to come to terms with the realization that their friendship had been damaged, seemingly beyond repair. Emily wasn’t sure which hurt more. The change didn’t go unnoticed by the team, and it didn’t take much prodding from JJ for Emily to break down and tell her everything, though nothing the blonde woman said could convince Emily to talk to Tara. She didn’t see the point, things could never go back to the way they were before, and Tara  _ clearly  _ wasn’t interested in revisiting whatever feelings had led them to that night, so Emily’s best Hope was to pretend that nothing was wrong and hope that eventually they could both forget what had happened.

Unfortunately for Emily, fate intervened in the form of one David Rossi who decided, for reasons unknown to the rest of the team, that they were long overdue for a party at his mansion. The whole team was there, as were a bunch of Dave’s acquaintances from the publishing world and a few assorted member of high society, yet Emily found herself unable to enjoy the festivities. Instead she hid in a corner on the opposite side of the room from Tara, sipping champagne and ignoring her friends’ pleas to stop lurking in the shadows. Finally, JJ had had enough and grabbed Emily across the arm, pulling her across the room.

“Where are you taking me?” Emily asked.

“I’m taking you to talk to your girlfriend.” JJ said without missing a beat. “This has gone on  _ way  _ too long.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Emily said. “Besides, Tara’s made it clear that the  _ last  _ thing she wants is to talk to me. We’ve barely spoken in a month!”

“Yeah, Em.” JJ said. “That’s the problem. Before you guys got drunk and decided to play tonsil hockey, you had gotten pretty close. Now you can’t even have a conversation that isn’t about work and it’s kinda messing with the team’s vibe.”

“JJ, what do you want me to do?” Emily said with a sigh. “I can’t  _ make  _ her want to fix things.”

“Well, maybe you should tell her how you really feel, for starters.” JJ replied. “And  _ don’t  _ try to tell me she already knows, because the wistful glances she keeps throwing your way tell another story.”

“Wha-?” Emily stammered. “What wistful glances? JJ!”

Before anything else could be said, JJ stopped in the middle of the backyard and the two were met by none other than Luke Alvez, dragging a reluctant Tara who was flanked on the other side by Penelope Garcia. They pushed the two women towards one another before stepping aside, clearly having worked together to pull this meeting off.

“Alright, you guys know why you’re here.” Luke said, waving a finger between them. “Stuff’s been weird for a few weeks and it’s messing us all up, fix it.”

“Work out your differences.” Garcia added. “We love you both and just want you to be happy, deal.”

Before either woman could open her mouth to protest, the trio scurried off, leaving them alone with nowhere to run to. Emily felt heat rising in her cheeks and cleared her throat before turning to look at Tara, who looked just as uncomfortable as she felt.

“So, uh.” Emily said. “I guess we need to talk.”

“Yeah.” Tara said. “I guess we do.”

“Right.” Emily said. “I uh, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable around me.”

Tara shrugged. “I’m sorry I confessed that I was hopelessly into you while drunk and then decided to kiss you,  _ also _ while drunk”

“I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could say it to me sober.” Emily said. “And that you never tried to kiss me sober, before  _ or  _ after that.”

“Oh.” Tara said, looking surprised 

Emily nodded her head and responded, “Oh.”

There was a pause as realization dawned on both of them, that they had both secretly wanting and yet been too scared to ask for the same thing. Then Tara was pulling Emily close, hands wrapped around her waist and their lips crashed together once again like magnets drawn toward each other. Emily’s heart threatened to leap out of its chest as lips gave way to tongues that did things that made her head spin.

“I was an idiot.” Emily said between kisses. “I should have just  _ told  _ you I felt the same way.”

“I should have told you a long time ago.” Tara responded. “I was too scared of ruining what we had.”

“You could  _ never  _ ruin this, Tara.” Emily said. “Not this, not us.”

“Is there an us?” Tara asked, kissing her again.

“Do you  _ want  _ there to be an us?” Emily responded, unable to mask the hope in her voice.

Tara smiled and held her close. “That’s all I want.”

Just like that, the world seemed to melt away and the pieces of Emily’s heart seemed to fit back together again. The pair were inseparable the rest of the night, kissing and curling up into one another, their happiness unmistakable. A few hours in though, Emily felt a tug on her hand and looked up to see Tara smiling at her.

“How do you feel about getting out of here a little early?” Tara asked.

“Sure.” Emily said, frowning quizzically. “Why?”

“Because there’s parts of you I haven’t kissed yet.” Tara said in a low voice so only she could hear. “And I need some privacy so we can fix that.”

Emily blushed furiously but smile and said, “Then by all means, let’s go someplace a little more private.”

A year later, Emily woke up in a bedroom overlooking the beach, wrapped in nothing but a sheet, a dull, satisfied throbbing between her thighs and the unfamiliar weight of a set of rings on her left hand. She was vaguely aware that she had a headache, but before she could dwell on it for too long, Tara shifted and wrapped her arms around Emily, placing soft kisses on her neck and shoulders.

“Good morning to you too.” Emily chuckled, snuggling into her. “Careful, or I might come to expect this kind of wake up call  _ every  _ morning.”

“Hm, imagine that.” Tara said. “My wife being spoiled. How’s your head, baby?”

“I think I overdid it on the sangria.” Emily said, making a face. “Which is ironic, considering that’s how we got in this situation in the first place.”

Tara laughed, scrunching up her nose. “How pissed do you think the team is gonna be when they find out we eloped to Mexico without telling anyone?”

“They’ll get over it.” Emily said. “They’re gonna have to, last I checked, I was still the unit chief.”

“Mmm, I love a woman in power.” Tara teased as she leaned in for a kiss. “You ready to go again, or do you need breakfast  _ out of  _ bed first?”

“You know I’m always ready for more of you.” Emily said, turning so that she was leaning over Tara. She kissed her on the lips before beginning her slow descent down Tara’s stomach when Tara reached out and grabbed Emily’s wrist to stop her. Emily looked up, eyebrows raised in a question.

“Hey.” Tara said softly. “Happy first day of being married, Mrs. Prentiss.”

Emily smiled. “Happy first day of the rest of our lives, Mrs. Lewis.”

And so they wasted away the rest of the morning in bed, content just to be together. They felt they had all the time in the world, that this was only the beginning for them. Tomorrow would come and they would face it together, but until then all that mattered was their bed and the rings on their fingers and the love that they felt. That would be enough.


End file.
